It's not just that I ate something last night that my body is having a hard time digesting. It’s that I’m having a hard time digesting life. I’ve been feeling resistant to life’s flow the last 2 weeks since the terrifying attack against the Israeli people and the Israel government’s vicious and reprehensible retribution against the Palestinian people ensued. I’m aware that there’s suffering everywhere in the world. There are wars, conflicts and cruel and unconscionable disparities, prejudices and entire systems of the empire perpetrating preventable harm against humanity and Gaia. And these 2 weeks we are watching a literal genocide play out on the world stage as Israel ties a noose around Gaza’s neck, in the name of defense against Hamas. This war taking place half a world away is at the center of my universe right now. Palestine is. Israel is. The Palestinian people are. The Israeli people are.
Despair, depression, sadness and rage are emotions of war. I’m writing through my emotions right now, so as not to suffer them. Feeling this moment leads to movement through it and participation in solutions.
War is a total failure of the best parts of humanity. All of the fullness of being human that I aspire to, eclipsed by a genocide executed by governments, militaries and militia in a quagmire of psychopathic distortions. I let what aspires in me wake me up at 2 am to assert participation in this story, its conscious unfoldment to something far, far away from the savagery. I cannot control the trajectory of the next airstrike. However, I can feel fully human. I abide deeply by my calling in this. I can free myself from narratives that confuse, conceal, and lie.
If a canvas represents infinite possibility to create, then the last couple of weeks I’ve been waking up in the morning less often with a blank canvas of infinite potential or a beautiful canvas already in flow and more often with a feeling of being tangled and conflicted, and one morning, from a dream where a voice stated clearly, “You are experiencing psychic attacks.”
There is a spiritual action that defends against psychic attack and participates for an end to this war in Gaza, Palestine and Israel. And, all wars everywhere. It’s not thoughts and prayers. It’s active engagement with Source, The Love Supreme and declaring with unwavering conviction what is true, that the U.S. Congress must pass a resolution calling on Israel to quit, cease and desist this genocide on the Palestinian people. The Palestinian children. That we can all declare that resolution and not wait for any outside authority to see it happening on the canvas of our world. I can see and feel and know it now. And, that we can awaken to the greatest frequencies and Light of Consciousness and bring about a sweeping Love for Humanity moment in world history, herstory, and mystory.
At first, I was numb with fear and despair. I looked at the images of Palestinian children suffering the appalling and murderous thunderclap of assault. I paused on Shaun King’s Instagram feed to look into the eyes of these beautiful, beautiful people. I saw my children in their eyes. My Naia, an unrelenting creator building and nourishing safe spaces in our collective mind for the healing and loving, forgiving and connecting to increase. My Imani, who hurtles momentum to the multiverses, from hot, volcanic lava, embellishing sound with sunlight. My Ashirah, who outs the bellyache of victimhood we humans too often settle for, through her extraordinary, thoughtful awareness, her beautifying footprints, and her face that makes you forget and remember and focus. My Yahsi, who defies assumptions and augments and transcends the ordinary through his engaged reverence for the ancestral, for family, dreaming and life. And Daviid and Sarah, who teach me the motherlode portion of mothering, insisting that love never keeps score. Every child of mine is a world and every child of the world is a Universe who must be protected.
The empire attacks the blameless ones, mercilessly weaponizing our collective trauma, insults the motherlode, spits as if family wasn’t the most valuable finery woven into the fabric of our human existence, exploding extermination fires over innocence.
When I was 10, I woke up one morning to find swastika’s and “fuck dirty jews” written in soap all over my father’s car parked in our driveway. What I felt then was a cocktail of fear and confusion. Immediately, I also had a felt sense of belonging, not to a Jewish community or identity, but to a group of humans who were victimized by other humans. I was still in my nightgown looking at my dad’s vandalized car and my dad saying, “Get in. We’re going for a drive”. Every part of every window was smeared in hate. Dad slowly, intentionally drove through the neighborhood with me and my older stepbrother sitting in the backseat. Dad had only wiped clean a small portion of the driver side windshield, as if to shout, tantrum, admonish of the rest, “THIS. This is what visited us in the night.”
I didn’t know then about the Nakba, or the Israeli occupation of Palestine when I was 10. I barely knew of the Holocaust.
I’ll keep writing as one way to participate in this life: reporting on what seeks to annihilate the best in us all and never will. My love for Palestinian people writes me. My love for Israeli people writes me. My love for humanity writes me. I commit to the voices who write me.
When I live out loud, when I declare these things, when I surrender my voice to InnerVerse, when I say, “I am doing the best I can with what is happening through me” and in doing the best I can, I am standing for a world where any child can walk from any place in the world to any other place in the world and be safe, welcome and celebrated, this is not trite articulation. I’m not trying to be cute.
When humans are first forming in utero, one of the first things that happens is a movement that is a pulse, and this pulse occurs throughout the cellular structure. Humans are a formation of cells pulsing in unison- in a unified rhythm. We are wired for this impulse from our very conception and this drive to organize rhythm and unify life force signifies life and birth.
Of course, one of the many things the holy lands have offered humans is an anchoring into sacred grounding, sacred rhythmic cadence, sacred remembrance and so when we speak of Palestine, we are also celebrating a people who has shown up historically inside the movements of sufferers. The Palestinian people have championed for humanity the rhythmic impulse for all life, for exalted freedoms and so have been the keepers and the growers of an authoritative reverberation of life itself; the substance and the form that thrives in proximity to a unifying, aspirational and rhythmic incantation continually giving birth to the human spirit.
The Universe responds. The quantum field is in a dedicated and unending response to our signals. To our intentions. Universal Mind is in devotion to human mind. Universal Mind will, at any point in our revolution around the sun, meet our human aspirations in an incomprehensible vastness and make our desires formed.
The Israeli government and military with the full support of the United States president and others in Joe Biden’s administration are directing missiles at Palestinian civilian homes, shelters, caravans and at hospitals across Gaza. More than 800 people were killed in a hospital in 2 minutes by an Israeli airstrike supported with U.S. dollars. A UN school in Gaza was hit with students and teachers in attendance. U.S. taxpayer money is paying for this. And my social media feed is filled with real time footage of the bodies of Palestinian babies, children, mommies and daddies and humans burned, maimed, bloodied, blown to bits and their homes, neighborhoods, schools, hospitals, their streets demolished to ash.
We are alive in a world that is reeling through contrast. I cannot fix it by giving away or silencing my voice. Or shame you for yours. I can rise and step into the dream awake. And, invite you to do the same.
And I can condemn the genocide in Gaza, Palestine. And, invite you to do the same.
And I can condemn attacks on Israel. And, invite you to do the same.
I call on President Joe Biden and the U.S. Congress to use its authority to defund the war in Gaza and immediately ceasefire Israel’s horrific genocide against the Palestinian people. My whole family makes that call.
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”- Anne Frank
We are made for this time.
We came knowing.
This is what is taking root in us, through us.
The children will make us remember.
The children will make us become.
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